About Me
My Diagnosis
Though I suspected I had ADHD for several years, I was finally diagnosed when I was 30. The initial diagnosis was a huge relief – I FINALLY HAD AN EXPLANATION! I finally understood why I avoided being left alone with my racing thoughts and felt exhausted by my brain at the end of every day, and why nobody else seemed to have the same challenges I did.
The Crash After Diagnosis
After the initial diagnosis though, the crash came. I now knew what was causing my challenges, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to “fix” everything that I felt was wrong with me. I knew and accepted some of my ADHD challenges – racing thoughts, bouncing from one topic to another and back again, difficulty with transitions. But I still refused to acknowledge and accept some of my other ADHD challenges – disorganization, time management, focus. And then there were the challenges I didn’t even know were related to my ADHD – oppositional defiance disorder, rejection sensitive dysphoria, emotional dysregulation.
What I've Learned From My Journey
On my ADHD journey I discovered some key things that changed the course of my life:
- I was fighting myself and my brain by trying to approach my life and “fix” myself using neurotypical methods. These don’t work for people with ADHD and can just increase challenges.
- Ignoring or wishing away the challenges I didn’t want to admit to didn’t make them go away, and in some cases made them more prevalent.
- I didn’t need to be fixed.
- My need to be perfect was my way of coping with my undiagnosed ADHD. It was imposter syndrome – I thought that if I could appear to have it all together on the outside, nobody would realize that I was a mess on the inside and constantly felt like I was one misstep away from dropping all the balls I was juggling in the air.
- Accepting and embracing every aspect of my ADHD was the only way to move forward, and the only way to make real progress. Accepting these challenges didn’t mean that I had to like them, but it meant that I could approach them from a positive and supportive place.
- ADHD will always be a part of my life and approaching my challenges in a positive way allows me to have fun and enjoy the process of change, which increases my chances for success.
- Learning to work with my ADHD and do things in a way that works with my brain, is the only way I can be successful.
A Little More About Me
I love to read, and I’ve found that puzzles can be a great outlet for my creativity. I enjoy spending time with family and friends playing games, watching movies, or just hanging out. I love being outdoors, whether I’m hiking, camping, biking, sitting on the beach, kayaking, or standup paddle boarding – nature is my happy place.